Winners of the Challenge
List of Reads
Mini Challenge Winner: Jujubee
- To Tatianna: "Oh, wow. We have Eminem doing drag, mama."
- To Jessica Wild: "Oh, wow. And standing next to her, is that Dumbo Flying in?"
- To Jujubee: "Oh mama, is this Jujubee? Darling, let me get to your level. Oh Ru, we have an undergrown orangutan!"
- To Pandora Boxx: "Oh, and next to her, darling how old are you?"
- To Raven: "And the one on the end, oh just look at her Ru, are you going swimming, or are you doing drag, mama, what is that?"
- To Tyra Sanchez: "Smile for me." (Tyra smiles), "Don't smile."
- To Jessica Wild: "Do you pick up satellite with those big ones?"
- To Tyra Sanchez: "You think that is big? (Pointing to her own ears) You need to see another thing that I have for you, bitch. (Pointing to her crotch)"
- To Tatianna: "You are SO FAT, girl."
- To Jujubee: "What are you doing here, mama? Go back to China Town, girl"
- To Pandora Boxx: You are a gringa puerca (white pig)."
- To Raven: "You, the top model? When I see your face, I said puñeta! (faggot)"
- To Tyra Sanchez: "Miss Tyra, was your barbecue cancelled? Your grill is fucked up."
- To Tatianna: "And, Miss Tatianna, Miss Honey. You think you're so soft. Not by the hairs of your chiny chin chin."
- To Jessica Wild: "And let me tell you something, puerca. You won't understand this anyways... มึงหน้าหมา แล้วตัวมึงใหญ่คึสิตาย (in Laotian) Get my gist? Do ya understand?"
- To Pandora Boxx: "Pandora, can we talk about sun tanning?"
- To Raven: "And you! Legendary, you think you are. Legendary? Looks like leg AND dairy (rubbing her stomach)!"
- To Tyra Sanchez: "Tyra Sanchez, if you are America's Sweetheart, America needs a heart transplant."
- To Tatianna: "Tatianna, all I hear when I put my ear up to yours is the ocean."
- To Jessica Wild: "Jessica Wild. Those drag clothes looks like a donkey fucked a piñata and threw up."
- To Jujubee: "Jujubee, with that gaping thing you call an asshole, I think I could go spelunking in there."
- To Raven: "Raven, the Frosty Bitch. I think I see penguins circling that pole."
- To Tyra Sanchez: "You got a grill that could put Black & Decker out of business."
- To Tatianna: "Everyone thinks you're pretty. I do think you're pretty. I think you have a beautiful face... for radio."
- To Jessica Wild: "You want to call me a top model, mami? Bend over and take it like a man. I'll be your top... model."
- To Jujubee: "Honey, don't you know a thing about doing a manicure and a pedicure? Fix them hooves, honey."
- To Pandora Boxx: "Pandora, by the looks of you, you're going through the change of life, honey."
Mini Challenge Winner: Shangela
- to Manila Luzon: "Manila Luzon. It's not because you're Asian. It's because I need some PATIENCE to deal with you."
- to Delta Work: "Delta Work, is that your tits or your feet?"
- to Raja: Raja, you think you're fashion? You should go to OOOOOOLLLLLLD SCHOOL."
- to Yara Sofia: "Oh, Yara. Your blue contacts are so creepy that it makes my skin itchy, itchy, itchy... pa'lante."
- to Delta Work: "It's Dinner time, Delta. And you are serving Body-ody-ody. Well, I guess that solves the problem with all them starving kids in Africa."
- to Raja: "Girl, don't go to an antique shop, they just might keep you there."
- to Yara Sofia: "Yara, isn't it interesting that when your flight came into town the sightings of chupacabras increased?"
- to Manila Luzon: "Manila, what are we gonna do when a hurricane hits all of Asia. You won't have any material left."
- to Raja: "Raja, when you're on the runway, do you keep the 800 number for suicide? Because those toes are ready to jump." (Raja takes a hop)
- to Shangela: "Miss Shangela, girl, can we have some water? Her hair is thirsty, baby."
- to Delta Work: "Delta, just grow a neck, honey."
- to Raja: "Raja, should I call you Raja or Grandma?"
- to Shangela: "Shangela, I hope you still have your phone card to middle earth, 'cause the hobbits are calling!"
- to Delta Work: "FAT."
- to Alexis Mateo: "WHO CARES?"
- to Carmen Carrera: "SYPHILIS."
- to Yara Sofia: "Yara, WHAT THE FUCK are you saying, girl?"
- to Alexis Mateo: "Alexis, girl, I been thinking about you all day. I was at the zoo"
- to Delta Work: "Mimi Imfurst."
- to Raja: "Raja, I know you call yourself top model, but I think Tyra Banks and I would agree you're just fashion roadkill."
- to Manila Luzon: "Manila Luzon, Asian role model. Well, I hope you were referring to the rolls all over your body."
- to Carmen Carrera: "And, aw, Carmen Carrera. Honey, just go jump in the ocean. You won't drown. Silicone floats."
Mini Challenge winner: Latrice Royale
- to Sharon Needles: "Does someone smell that? Oh that's just Sharon Needles!"
- to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, you should feel honored! You're the first contestant in Drag Race history with child!"
- to Latrice Royale: "Latrice Royale, you're free now you don't have to rock the yard sandals anymore!" (In reference to Latrice wearing sandals backstage and during the mini challenge)
- RuPaul: "Jiggly Caliente, darling. What do you see?"
- Jiggly Caliente: Bitches.
- to Dida Ritz: "Dida let me start with you boo, there's some lotion in my purse, you need to use it on your elbows and your knees, you look like you've been galloping through flour baby."
- to Chad Michaels: "Mama Chad, it's called forever 21 not forever 41!"
- to Willam: "Willam, honey, your face is made out of marbles, s*** don't move!"
- to Jiggly Caliente: "Oh Jujubee, you know helium is for balloons, not your stomach
- to Willam: "Willam, I know you're talented at you know, buying shoes, but you're talented at you know, drag?"
- to Sharon Needles: "And uh, Sharon? I love how you rock the Party City!"
- Sharon Needles: "That's where I got your Lady Gaga wig!"
- to Dida Ritz: "Dida Ritz, I don't know if that's Hot Couture or Hot Cou-torn 'cause there's holes in that shirt!"
- to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi, you are gorgeous, you catch the camera's eye from the right, but from the left, you snag it!"
- to Chad Michaels: "Chad Michaels, you so old, you're still on Myspace.com Chad Michaels!"
- Chad Michaels: "I was gonna take that down..."
- to Dida Ritz: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the RuPaul ball, tonight, in the category of BUTCH QUEEN: DIDA RITZ!"
- to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly, I love you, come to Mother Dust, come, come to me, come, I won't hurt you... here's my dentist card. Use it"
- to Willam: "Willam Belli, Willam Belli loves to live his life and think he's Carrie Bradshaw, but in the sequel she'll be playing Scary Radshaw."
- to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, BMW... Body Made Wrong!"
- to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi O'Hara, although reading is fundamental darling, you want to spell first, you illiterate f***!"
- to Willam: "Willam, Miss Industry, congratulations on your new role as the Big Bad Wolf, by the hair on your chinny chin chin!"
- to Sharon Needles: "Sharon Needles, two words, "Sideshow Freak!""
- to Dida Ritz & Willam: "Dida Ritz, a lot of you girls like to clock me for painting my skin on the gray side, but I was inspired by your knees, and they're the same color as Willam's chin!"
- to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi O'Hara, what brand of makeup do you wear? Sherman Williams?"
- to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, you're such a fat slut, after sex you smoke hams!"
Mini Challenge Winner: Alaska
- to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, condragulations on the weight loss, but to me, you're still Boxxxy, Mandrews."
- to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, overbites are very in this season. Too bad your performance here is so underwhelming."
- to Alaska: "Sharon Needles! What?"
- (web extra) to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx Monsoon, with a name like a meteorologists', the only weather you're serving up is the weather storm of bad taste."
- (web extra) to Ivy Winters: "I-veeeee Wintersss! You're very soft and beautiful...for a hard clown.
- to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, there are two types of peanut butter: creamy (points to legs) and crunchy (points to face)."
- to Detox: "Detox, you won the challenge, you can take the chicken mask off now."
- (web extra) to Coco Montrese: "Coco Montrese, you are a fierce lip syncer. But when you're done, I don't know whether to clap or warm up the defibrillator."
- (web extra) to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, your performance as Katy Perry was less than satisfactory. When you go home, get on wikipedia.com and look the bitch up, do you know anything about her!?
- (web extra) to Ivy Winters: "Ivy Winters, you got read down for your performance in Snatch Game, but I however thought your impression of Mrs. Doubtfire was spot on."
- to Coco Montrese : "Coco Montrese, for someone who calls themselves a top, you sure do like being on the bottom."
- to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx Monsoon, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, you're great at the challenges, but on the runway, you're a bust!"
- (web extra) to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, you can't sing worth a damn, but you dance a great ballet. Darling with only one skill, it's time you sashay away."
- (web extra) to Ivy Winters "Ivy Winters, you're such a cute twink, but as a drag queen, you stink."
- to Detox : "Detox, is Amanda Lepore your mother? 'Cause there's a lot of silicone going on there."
- to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx Monsoon, Boy George called. He wants his hat back."
- to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, never mind."
- (web extra) to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, your idea of a wardrobe is a swimsuit in a different color."
- to Ivy Winters: "Ivy Winters... I can't do it, because reading you is like reading a Walt Disney book, it's simply too easy."
- to Detox: "Detoxic! Honey, I know you're thinking you're serving body and look, but the only thing I'm getting is The Hills Have Eyes."
- (web extra) to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx-I'm-a-Man-Monsoon, that's you. Hair, makeup rotted gutted."
- (web extra) to Alaska: "And Alaska the finale of the Rolaskatox. Start over."
- to Coco Montrese: "Miss Coco, you must be blind because it looks like you're using Tang for your highlight."
- to Alaska: "Miss Alaska, I think you should wear a mask for every challenge."
- (web extra) to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, the reason why you rely on your body so much is to distract everyone from your face."
"I don't wanna read these girls, I love them so much ALRIGHT, LET'S GO."
- to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, Miss US- oh wait."
- to Detox: "Detox, you're so seductive, but unfortunately it's illegal to do it with you because most of your parts are under 18 years of age."
"Long story short, the season of the fish smells like trout."
- (web extra) to Coco Montrese: "Coco Montrese, I don't know why everyone keeps calling you old. How old are you? I'd say you look somewhere between 40 and death!"
- (web extra) to Jinkx Monsoon: "Next up Pandora Boxx, so nice of you to join us again.
Episode 14: Reunited!
Mini Challenge Winner: Darienne Lake
- to BenDeLaCreme: "Miss BenDeLaCreme, after seeing you in drag, I realize now why Seattle has a high suicide rate."
- to Joslyn Fox: "Joslyn Fox, she's so gay, even her asshole has a lisp."
- to Adore Delano: "Then we have Adore. I know what you got on your SAT's. Ketchup."
- (web extra) to Trinity K. Bonet: "Oh Trinity. She thinks she looks like Beyoncé from Destiny's Child. On second glance, you look more like Rosemary's Baby. (To RuPaul) It's an old reference, I know you get it."
- to Trinity K. Bonet: "Trinity, I believe your smile belongs on Season 4. Every day is shark week with your grill."
- to Laganja Estranja: "Miss Laganja Estranja, next time you death drop, reverse that and drop dead."
- (web extra) to Bianca Del Rio: Miss Bianca, you're such an old c*** if I fisted you, I would bring out some cobwebs and dust on my hand."
- to Darienne Lake: "Darienne Lake, I weigh like 110 and I'm really scared of you, so I'm just gunna keep it at that."
- to Trinity K. Bonet: "And I'm sure you all will remind me that my hair is so fine and damaged that I'm forced wear this clip-on ponytail (takes off ponytail). If you can't read yourself, how in the hell can you read somebody else, thank you."
- (web extra) to the girls: Hello ladies. You know that I am not the strong one for reading, so I've decided to just state facts.
- (web extra) to Adore Delano: Adore, I know sometimes you beat yourself up about your weight and you think you have a weird body. And I'm here to remind you, you do have a weird body and you are fat."
- to Joslyn Fox : "Joslyn Fox, you may not be all that smart, and you may not be all that pretty... I guess that's it."
- to Darienne Lake: "MIss Darienne Lake, you should be arrested for animal cruelty. The way you abused those kitten heels on the runway is absolutely criminal!"
- (web extra) to Trinity K. Bonet: "Tyra Sanchez, was your barbecue cancelled? Your grill is f***ed."
- to BenDeLaCreme: "BenDeLaCreme, the cream always rises to the top, but then again, so does the scum."
- to Joslyn Fox: "Miss Joslyn Fox, when we need a lower rate version of Courtney Act, we'll let you know."
- (web extra) to Laganja Estranja: Laganja, ladies and gentlemen, is a cover model. I saw her on the cover of a magazine just last month; Horse and Hound Quarterly."
- (web extra) to Adore Delano: Adore, I wish someone would show you a door. Any door."
- to Adore Delano: "Adore, you know you're from the west coast because it's a three hour delay before you finally get a joke."
- to Darienne Lake: "Darienne Lake, this is the girl who probably sits reverse cowgirl on the toilet just so she has a flat surface to eat off of."
- (web extra) to Courtney Act: "Courtney Act, what were you caught in the act of? Putting your face on, because you always look unfinished."
- (web extra) to BenDeLaCreme: "BenDeLaCreme, or more like has-been DeLa Creme."
- (web extra) to Laganja Estranja: "Laganja you're still here?"
- to Joslyn Fox: "Joslyn, you have some really comforting old fashioned qualities like how you paint in sepia tone and your voice sounds like a dial-up modem."
- to Darienne Lake: "Miss Darienne Lake, you have a lot of jokes, but to me, they're more like UFO's. I mean, they are way out there and I've never seen one land."
- to Adore Delano: "A-bore De-lameo, is that a hog on your body, or are you excited to see me?"
- to Bianca Del Rio: "Bianca Del Taco Trio, your style is as old and bitter as you. You've even got the crypt keeper crying "BOO HOO HOO!""
- RuPaul: "Thank you Dr. Seuss."
- to Milk: "Milk, your beauty and fashion is listed right on the side of your carton under 'Missing.'"
- to BenDeLaCreme: "You remind me of a Russian doll, full of yourself."
- to Adore Delano: (slowly) "Adore Delano, I'm going to say this very slowly so you can understand. You're dumb."
- (web extra) to Courtney Act: "Pretty little Courtney Act, her real beauty is on the inside. I guess that's why you've let so many men inside you. Courtney Act, Australian for whore."
- (web extra) to Laganja Estranja: "Laganja! You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
- (web extra) to Trinity K. Bonet: "Trinity K. Bonet, she says she has an eight inch penis, but it smells like a foot."
- Trinity K. Bonet: "That's a lie. I never said that."
Mini Challenge Winner: Trixie Mattel
- to Trixie Mattel: "Trixie Mattel, making fun of you is like shooting clownfish in a barrel. Unfortunately, that's about as fishy as you'll ever be."
- to Miss Fame: "Miss Fame, I think everything about you is so original, except for those lips, those cheeks and everything you present to the judges on the runway."
- (seen in ep13) to Pearl: "Pearl, your razor burn is so bad the only way I can read you is by braille."
- to Pearl: "Pearl, now that you come out of your shell, maybe you could use that as a butt pad?"
- to Violet Chachki: "Violet Chachki, you keep training those corsets girl. Pretty soon your waist size will be lower than your IQ."
- to Miss Fame: "Miss Fame, you are such a talented make-up artist. I have never met anybody whose able to shove their head so far up their own ass without smudging their eye liner."
- to Ginger Minj:"Ginger Minj, I disagree with the judges. I think you should bring your black hairspray down further. Full coverage."
- to Katya: "Katya, at this point you really should just make like your hair line and recede."
- to Trixie Mattel: "Trixie Mattel, haute couture? More like haute glue."
- to Trixie Mattel: "Is that Ben Affleck? Girl, I must be hungry for the dick if I think this thirsty bitch is her."
- to Katya: "Katya, now you get to increase your hooking fee. Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race."
- to Trixie Mattel: "Miss Trixie. Girl, I am waiting for you to change that lip color, 'cause your face looks like the back of a baboon's ass"
- to Violet Chachki: "Oh look it's a giraffe, no it's a horse. Oh, it's just Miss Violet serving neigh realness."
- to Katya: "Katya, where do you get your outfits, girl? American Apparently Not?"
- to Ginger Minj: "Ginger Minj, girl did you ever save Carol Anne from the poltergeist in the TV?"
- to Violet Chachki: "Violet, I don't believe the rumors. I don't believe that you took Sharon Needles' crown. I don't believe you're taking this one either."
- to Kennedy Davenport: "Kennedy Davenport, you've got your eye on the prize and your other eye on the crown."
- to Katya: "Katya, are you confused? The saying is young, dumb and full of cum."
- to RuPaul: "RuPaul..."
- RuPaul: "Bitch! The library is closed and Pearl, the door is over there!"
Mini Challenge winner: Bob The Drag Queen
- to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor. Girl, I love you so much, I don't know whether to give you a hug, or put some change in a cup."
- to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. You may be from New York, but honey, those feet are still from Mississippi."
- (web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie 'snaggletooth' Turner, girl, you the first person I've ever seen whose teeth had a kickstand."
- (web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Smalls... bitch, eat a sandwich."
- to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag is just like turkey neck: cheap, and no one wants it."
- to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Smalls. Your wardrobe reminds me of a legendary Drag Race queen: Nicole Paige Brooks."
- RuPaul: "The SHADE! Who knew that was lurking underneath all that—"
- Naomi: "We all knew." (gesturing to the other queens).
- (web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor, I would read you but I wouldn't want you to worry about it."
- (web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner, Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme shined with their Snatch Game characters, but I guess this is a trilogy I won't finish reading.
- (web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen, Michelle Visage said to punch up your highlights. Your makeup makes me want to punch you in the highlights."
- to Derrick Barry: "Simple—I mean Derrick—I mean Britney. You know, you are pretty attractive. I'd hit that baby one more time."
- to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob. Please shut up."
- (web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, you know, I fell in love with you. You have this wonderful boyfriend back home, and she was telling us stories about how she has to—he sounds really attractive—you have to remind him to shower, you tell him to clean up after himself, and then you also cook dinner. You just open up a can of beans with those teeth."
- (web extra) to Kim Chi: "Uh... Teletubby."
- (web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Jinkx Monsoon—I mean Robbie Turner. I thought you were the whitest cracker on Earth, but actually when you got shown-up by the dog, the dog is a little whiter than you."
- (web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Smalls, I loved you in Bambi. As Bambi. When you came out all thin. But I loved you even more as Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas."
- to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi, no one knows whether to call you 'nigh-o-mi' or 'nay-o-mi,' but judging from your runway looks, no one's gonna be calling you at all."
- to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. I had no idea that there are different shades of ashy."
- (web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, the day I met you, you sad you weren't a comedy queen. Yet you were wearing a trash bag. That was very comedic. Still, after six episodes: Your most expensive look."
- (web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy, I am not surprised you did a killer Michael Jackson tribute in the Snatch Game. I'm still waiting for you to impersonate a female in this competition."
- (web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner. 'Let me tell you something for free.' Why don't you borrow some Ru dollars, and go buy a new quote."
- to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner, we know you're a vintage queen, but do you have to smell like mothballs too?"
- to Derrick Barry: "Derrick Barry. You say it takes you an hour to do your face. Why does it look like five minutes?"
- (web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag reminds me of my elementary school project: hot-glued together and cheap."
- (web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor. You know how the kids are saying 'Brows on fleek?' Yours are on 'hide and seek.'"
- (web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "...and Bob The Drag Queen. I don't blame you for not being a great makeup artist. There's not many things you can do with coffee grounds and gasoline."
- RuPaul: "I don't even know what that means..."
- to Kim Chi: "Kim Chi. You are stomping for the gods on the runway. I just wish your drag would get raptured."
- to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi, I'm gonna give you some advice, darling. No one's gonna take you seriously if you were born after 'Windows 95' came out."
- (web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag is amazing. ...considering you look like you got dressed in hurricane forced [sic] winds."
- (web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor—if that's your Christian name—your hair is reaching for the heavens, but your bangs are praying for release."
- (web extra) to Derrick Barry: "Derrick Barry. It is so nice to be as pretty as homemade soap." Derrick: "...what?"
- (web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. Bob, you're like the napalm of drag. Your drag is so good from afar, but far from good."
- to Derrick Barry: "It is a known fact that Derrick Barry is not very smart. When she heard Britney Spears, she said, 'Does she? I prefer fencing.' It is very hard to have an intelligent conversation with Derrick Barry. The only thing harder is Robbie Turner's wig lines."
- to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turnter [sic]. I know you're a huge fan of classic movies and television. May I recommend one of my favorite classic movies and TV shows: Flipper."
- (web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi DeVayne. We all know she's poor and cheap, in fact you ring her doorbell, the toilet flushes. Why is everyone so shocked she can do backflips? Her teeth have been doing somersaults since she got here."
- (web extra) to Kim Chi: "Kim Queef. How would I describe your teeth? 'Thuthpicious.'" (suspicious, said with a lisp)
- (web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor is a cautionary tale of why musicians shouldn't mate. You'll end up with an f-a-g on r-d-r with a-d-h-d with compulsion o-c-d, okaaay?"
- (web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Shambles. I find it amazing you have eleven brothers and sisters and no one loved you enough to tell you not to wear those shoes on national TV. She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower just to get wet."
- Naomi, laughing: "I hate you."
- Bob: "She's so skinny she can look through the peep hole with both eyes."
- (web extra) to himself: "And Bob The Drag Queen is so dark, she sits in a tub of hot water, and makes coffee. Thank you, the library's closed."
Mini Challenge Winner: Valentina
- to Alexis Michelle: Alexis Michelle, Broadway is calling. In this case, it's the one in Brooklyn where the whores work.
- to Shea Couleé: Shea Couleé, you remind me of my favorite movies. Your fashion is Coming To America, and your smile, Jurassic Park.
- to Trinity Taylor: I'm so happy that we have on loan from Madam Tussauds, RuPaul's statue and miss Trinity Taylor.
- to Nina Bo'nina Brown: Nina Bo'nina Brown, your pads are so big, you bent down to pick something up off the street, and the garbage man said Who let this raggity couch here? Goodwill pickup is on Sunday.
- to Farrah Moan: Farrah Moan, all those mans that buy you fancy designer shoes, they're not your boyfriends, they're called Jons and they're your employers.
- to Shea Couleé: Shea Shea Couleé, you sure are a scene stealer. I guess gnawing on set pieces explains those teef.
- to Valentina: Valentina, your wardrobe sure does look expensive, but money can't buy talent.
- to Farrah Moan: Farrah, you really are the social media queen, too bad you can't get a filter for that personality.
- to Peppermint: Peppermint, you assassinated Cynthia in the lipsync but, did you have to practice on your wardrobe?
- to Nina Bo'nina Brown: Nina Bo'nina Brown Jurassica Parker, you've had some ups and downs in this competition and I can't wait to read it all in your biography, 50 Shades Of Ashy.
- to Alexis Michelle: Alexis Michelle, you're oh so BROOOAADWAAAY, but you're also very broad.
- to Trinity Taylor: Trinity Taylor, I once told you that you're so beautiful inside and out, I lied you ugly stripper.
- to Shea Couleé: Ladies, we're gonna do an exercise. Everybody raise your arms up to the sky, and Shea this is for you, one word. Deodorant, bitch.
- to Peppermint: Peppermint. You need one.
- to Sasha Velour: Sasha. You and Ru have a lot in common. He bald, you bald, he wear glasses, you wear glasses, he's rich, you- never mind.
- to Alexis Michelle: Alexis, you're like a BMW. Body made wrong.
- to Valentina: Valentina, you think you're Miss Venezuela, but you're more like Miss Quinceañera.
- to Alexis Michelle: Alexis Michelle, Pillsbury called, they want their rolls back.
Episode 13: Reunited!
- to Alexis Michelle: "Alexis, I love your costume. You look just like a honeybaked ham."
- to Aja: "Aja, I love your costumes. That's why I call you the Joan of Arc of drag. Great ideas, badly executed."
- to Valentina: "Oh yeah, I had a really good read for Valentina but I can't remember the words..."
- to Trinity Taylor: "Trinity swears she's so fishy bitch, all she's serving is Fisher-Price."
Mini Challenge Winner: Eureka O'Hara
- to Eureka O'Hara: "Eureka, we found it. Girl, how could we miss it?"
- to Monét X Change: "Miss Monét X Change. Ru, just an exchange? I would have asked for a full refund."
- to The Vixen: "The Villain. I mean, The Vixen. I really think it's so fierce that back in Chicago you have that show called "Black Girl Magic." Now can you show me a magic trick and just disappear?"
- to Monique Heart: "Monique Heart, you've got a heart of gold, the voice of an angel, and a hairline that looks like it's been fucked with a weedwhacker."
- to The Vixen: "The Vixen, you told us from day one you are here to fight. Sweetheart, why don't you fight some of those wigs with some soap and water?"
- to Aquaria: "Aquaria, God's gift to makeup. So sorry God didn't bless you with the gift of a personality."
- to Kameron Michaels: "Kameron Michaels, I don't really have a read for you. Please, just fuck me. Please, just fuck me!"
- to Aquaria: "Aquaria, I love your confidence. You're always telling yourself how you're beautiful, how you're talented, how you're gonna win. You're also a pathological liar."
- to The Vixen: "The Vixen, do you have a housekeeper, girl? Your kitchen is a mess."
- to herself: "Thank you all so much. I can't wait to hear your reads about me being fat."
Miz Cracker: "You won't have to wait long."
Eureka O'Hara: [laughs]
- to Eureka O'Hara: "Eureka O'Hara, I know you've probably seen "Dumbo" like a thousand times. But it doesn't matter how big you paint these wings. You are staying on the ground, bitch."
- to Aquaria: "Aquaria, people don't appreciate how much money you have to spend on makeup when you covering two faces."
- to Kameron Michaels: "Kameron Michaels, I think I speak for all the girls here when I say we're really gonna miss you next week."
- to Eureka O'Hara: "Eureka O'Hara, stop relying on that body fat."
- to The Vixen: "Miss The Vixen, though your tumbles are stunning, your hair gives me tumbleweed."
- to Monét X Change: "Monét X Change, girl, you know better to be black using hotel lotion."
- to Asia O'Hara: "Asia O'Hara, you are the Amazon queen. You get your tights from Amazon, you get some of your outfits from Amazon, and apparently, they sell teeth, too."
- to Miz Cracker: "And Miz Cracker. You coin yourself as thin, white, and salty bout you forgetting bitter. Bitter that you are a New York City queen that had to fuck Bob the Drag Queen to get to the top."
Monét X Change: [removes glasses] And that's shade."
Episode 13: Queens Reunited
- to Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: "Vanessa Vanjie Mateo."
Vanessa: "What, bitch?"
Kalorie: "How does it feel to have a catch phrase last longer on "Drag Race" than you did?"
Vanessa: "I'm glad I have a catch phrase. Who are you again?"
Kalorie: "Okay, bitch? The bitch that sent you home. The bitch that sent you home."
- to Eureka: "Eureka, they say "Eureka! I found it", right? But when you gonna find out when to shut the fuck up sometimes?"
Eureka: "When you come put that dick in my mouth"
- to Yuhua Hamasaki: "You know, this season we thought that The Vixen and Eureka was one of the biggest fights but no. I enjoyed watching Yuhua fight the English language the entire season."
- to Monét X Change:
Monique: "Wakanda Fish."
Asia: "Clearly she talking to Monét."
Aquaria: "Wha-kinda fish is that?"
Monique: "Aquaria is smart!"
- to Eureka, Kameron Michaels, Blair St. Clair and Michelle Visage: "Eureka, I know you seem to have gotten close to Miss Kameron Michaels, and that's really surprising because no one gets close to her without a $50 meet and greet. And I know maybe it's because of Kameron's ego is so big it makes you feel dainty. And feeling dainty, Miss Blair St. Clair, I know you like to claim you're a professional actress, but being a decoy on "To Catch a Predator" is not a legit credit. And Michelle Visage, neva lavd ya."
Mini Challenge Winner: Brooke Lynn Hytes
- to Plastique Tiara: Plastique Tiara. That's exactly what you're gonna need when they send you home.
RuPaul: What's that?'
Nina West: A plastic tiara.
- to Shuga Cain: Ah Shuga Cain, Shuga Cain. More like novocaine, coz' that mug ain't for sippin, sweetie.
- to A'keria Chanel Davenport: A'keria C. Davenport. The resting bitch face of the season. Are you sure you just haven't been resting?
A'keria Chanel Davenport: ...on your talent.
- to Nina West: Nina. West. Miami Dolphin called! They wanted their shoulders back.
Nina West:Oh, thank you!
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Silky's drag transformation is incredible. She goes from a busted-looking man, and to just busted-looking!
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache:Silky! You gave me electric chair that hair, bitch you always comin' here reckless.
- to Shuga Cain: Shuga, Shuga, Shuga, what can I say? Fossilized, pre-historic drag, I'mma send to see you to retirement home, grandma.
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Why y'all hoes ain't laughing? Y'all, I was trying for it!
Brooke Lynn Hytes: You're not funny, bitch!
- to Brooke Lynn Hytes:Brooke Lynn, I've said it to you to life at the mess bar for those toes, bitch you're lucky you not wearing sandals cause I would have them do a dance in those feet, you had to get them on a different episode.
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Thank you, and God bless!
- to Plastique Tiara: Plastique Tiara. Thank God you named yourself for your beauty and not for your personality, cause Plastique Bag just doesn't have the same ring to it!
- to A'keria Chanel Davenport: A'keria C. Davenport. You know, I'm actually really excited to hit the road with you. It wasn't until I saw that ass that I truly understood the meaning of a drug mule.
- to Yvie Oddly:Girl, you're so skinny, you got people in Somalia sending you food.
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Silk, with the good milk. The only good thing about your milk is that it has an expiration date.
Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Speaking of expiration dates, ain't yours comin' soon?
RuPaul: I think this is the first time we've had a reading challenge where the people being read, read back.
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Right, we comin' for the girl!.
- to Plastique Tiara: Plastique Tiara. I'm looking for a new apartment, how much are you charging for the vacant space between your ears?
- to Shuga Cain: Shuga Cain. I'm redoing my fireplace and I'm short of brick. Can I borrow your face?
- to Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Miss Vanjie...
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Don't get the divorce papers.
Brooke Lynn Hytes: Now the real reason I keep kissing you is because it's the only way to get you to shut the fuck up.
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: I'll take that!
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Silky Nutmeg Ganache. Ru, isn't she precious? No really, (takes of glasses) isn't that Precious?
- to Plastique Tiara: Plastique Tiara. Girl, your drag is beautiful, I must admit, but what is it worth when it's all rented?
- to Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Miss Vanjie Mateo. Last season, you had your 20 minutes of fame, but this season all you livin' with is Brooke Lynn's last name.
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Miss Silky Nasty Nutmeg Ganache. I don't know what flaps more, your lips, your body, or those shoes.
- to RuPaul:Miss RuuuuuuPaul!
Silky Nutmeg Ganache: That's gon' be real nice. We be up in here workin' and waitin' on you on the door, but you can come in and say, "HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!"
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Girl, what was that? Y'all edit that out, edit that out.
Plastique Tiara: That was horrible!
- to Plastique Tiara:Miss Plastiiique Tiara! I'm truly surprised that you're still here booboo, but I think for us all your elimination need to come, 早く, 早く (hayaku, hayaku).
Plastique Tiara: What the fuck does that mean?
Silky Nutmeg Ganache: It's hurry in Japanese bitch, hurry go home!
Plastique Tiara: I'm not Japanese!
- to RuPaul: Do I have your permission to use a footnote?
RuPaul: Yes, f-footnote. (Silky grabs note from shoe) Literally, footnote. Take your time, it's only a 90-minutes show.
- to Brooke Lynn Hytes: BROOKE LYYYYYYYN HYTES!
RuPaul: Can you bring the volume down a little?
Brooke Lynn Hytes: And also make it funny.
Silky Nutmeg Ganache: You better shut up, you 80s-looking porn star. (referring to Brooke Lynn) Roses are red, Violets are blue. Your Celine Dion was shit boo boo.
- to herself:Miss Silky. Nutmeg. Ganache. Yes, you are fat. Yes, your hair is snappy. But bitches, y'all run up on me I'm gon' get real choppy. Whaddup hoes! Whaddup hoes! Whaddup! Whaddup!
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: That wasn't a read, you just threatening us, bitch!
Episode 13: Reunited
- to Plastique Tiara: I'm going to start with Miss Plastique. I'm seeing you very clear from here, darling.
Kahanna: It was interesting to me that you just learned about Beyonce four years ago, but you knew every word to Hood Boy. Do they only know Missy Elliot and Cardi B in Vietnam?
Brooke Lynn: Oh, she got you there, girl.
- to Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: OK, well I'm going to start with you Vanjie. Vanjie, right after season 11, you were just a meme. And I guess--
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: And what the f*** are you?
Mercedes: And right after season 11, you still just a meme.
Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Yea, a meme that's still gonna last longer than you, bitch.
Alright, I got a few, here we go.
- to Yvie Oddly: Babe, Frodo Baggins called. Girl, he wants his ring back.
- to Soju: Soju, Soju, girl, do you remember that one episode when we-- Oh wait, you don't.
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: I'm so upset you used a sharpie on my face girl, that's permanent. Unlike your career.
- to A'keria Chanel Davenport: A'keria- I'm scared of her, so I can't do it.
- to Ariel Versace: You call me a blogger, you should read up on my new article- "How to not fall in front of RuPaul, bitch."
A'keria Chanel Davenport: Start wearing flats.
- to A'keria Chanel Davenport: A'keria C. Davenport, ass almighty. That ass is magical. It reminds me of a genie's lamp. Because it's cold, dark, and when men rub it, they wish for something better.
- to Silky Nutmeg Ganache: You know the only thing less blended then your hip pads this season was the cheek you did on Soju's face.
- to Soju: Speaking of Soju, it's a shame that your career hasn't exploded like your cyst. Tell me, really quick question, did it K-pop?
Instead of the Reading is Fundamental challenge, Season 12 featured a different Reading challenge sponsored by FabFitFun, where the contestants in pairs curated a box of FabFitFun products for another duo, then gift it to them with shade. The winners won $1000 and a 1 year subscription to FabFitFun.
- Jackie: Oh, my goodness. Gigi: Oh, my God!
Jackie: (to Crystal) The circus is in town (to Crystal and Jaida) Hello ladies!
Jackie: (talking to Gigi) Maybe black is just a lot more slimming than whatever those colors are [pointing to the other pair].
Crystal: Yeah, I just like to be a little bit more exciting, I guess.
Jackie: (to Crystal) Yeah, well, something's gotta make up for the personality.
Gigi: (to Crystal and Jaida) We have a little gift. Jackie: We curated a box from Gigi and Jackie: FabFitFun.
Jaida: (to Gigi and Jackie) Well that is so crazy, because we also curated a box for you from FabFitFun.
Jackie: (to Crystal and Jaida) Oh, well!
Gigi: (to Crystal) Crystal. Now, I know the judges are always saying that your make up is just, um... terrible. So I got you the season one filter, okay? It's just a towel that you put over the lens of the camera.
Crystal: Thank you!
Jackie: (to Jaida) Miss Jaida, I got something for you, too! Now listen, I got you this lotion... Oh, it is perfect! And it's cruelty-free, unlike your performance as Cardi B in The Snatch Game which was really cruel for us to watch.
Jaida: (to Jackie) Stop it!
Crystal: (to Gigi) Gigi, I got you this face purifying cleanser, so you can wash both of your faces.
Jackie: (to Crystal) But which face is it? The face of the one win, or the other win? Or maybe it's the third? Gigi: The third?
Jaida: (to Jackie) Or the no-win. Jackie: Oh!
Jaida: (to Jackie) Sister, I've always told you you were so beautiful and you're like a work of art to me. Jackie: Well, thank you. Jaida: You know that one where they're like [screams] Screaming, yes, honey! So what I did, was I wanted to frame your face a little, so I bought you these beautiful sunglasses. Oh, try them on really quickly!
Jackie: (to Jackie) Gorgeous. Oh... [puts the sunglasses on] And look, you've never looked more beautiful, Jaida!
Gigi: (to Crystal and Jaida) Oh, this has been so fun.
Jaida: (to Gigi and Jackie) Well, you guys have a great day. We're gonna say goodbye.
Gigi: (to Crystal and Jaida) Goodbye, ladies. Jackie: Goodbye, girls.
Jaida: (to Gigi and Jackie) Bye.
Gigi: (to Crystal and Jaida after they left) Sluts. Jackie: Uh, whores.
- All: [overlapping] Hello ladies! Hi! Hello!
Heidi: (to Sherry and Widow) It's so nice to see... [unbothered] you.
Sherry: (to Heidi and Jan) Well, um, we actually curated this box from FabFitFun for you ladies, isn't it cute?
Heidi: (to Sherry) You're so kind!
Sherry: (to Heidi) Well, somebody has to be kind to you Widow: 'Cause life has not been at all.
Jan: (to Sherry and Widow) We also curated a box from FabFitFun just for you. Heidi: Yeah! Sherry: Oh, fabulous!
Jan: (to Sherry) Sherry, you're just such a strong, independent and handsome drag queen, so I just got you this blanket. Sherry: Wow, it's very heavy! Jan: Just like you.
Widow: (to Heidi) Heidi, I know that you got a lot of shit, from, pretty much everyone about how busted your mug is. Heidi: Oh! Widow: So I felt I should get you a new mug. [shows mug] Try not to crack this one.
Heidi: (to Widow) Miss Widow, I actually got you some luggage, you know, to help you pack when you get sent home.
Widow: (to Heidi) Yet I've been safe, mostly.
Heidi: (to Widow) Safe, just coasting, yeah.
Jaida: Oh, bitch!
Sherry: (to Jan) My darling, I know how much you've been struggling with your best friend leaving the competition.
Jan: (to Sherry) At least I have some friends!
Sherry: (to Jan) And so I got you this lovely terrarium, I thought we could put some plants in it and you can water it with your salty crocodile tears.
Widow: (to Heidi and Jan) This was so lovely to catch up. Sherry: Give us a call... Widow and Sherry: Never.
Sherry: (to Heidi and Jan) Bye, girls!
Episode 13: Alone Together
- to Aiden Zhane: Aiden Zhane, I'm really sorry how I treated you all season, but I was just preparing you for how Patricia Quinn would treat you after the Snatch Game.
- to Dahlia Sin: And that brings me to Dahlia. You sure do talk a big game for someone who came in 13th place on a 12-person season.
Dahlia: Baby girl, I lasted more episodes than you did thanks to broccoli, baby.
- to Brita: Brita, you really do need the filter with all that spit coming out of your mouth.
But, you know, if being a drag queen doesn't work out, you can always find a career as a sprinkler system.
- to Jackie Cox: Miss Jackie Cox.
Gigi: You are so supportive, I can always count on you for a shoulder to cry on and a face to file my nails on.
- to Crystal Methyd: And as for you, Crystal Methyd, I wish I knew how to quit you.
- to Crystal Methyd: Crystal, it is scientifically proven that eating glitters kills brain cells. Every time you try to explain and follow your thoughts, we just hears the sea. And I thought I was hard to understand. (silence)
Rock M. Sakura: Don't worry, you guys. I put everything into Google Translate, and it came out funny.
- to Jan: Jan, do you have a condom I can borrow? I know you're always safe.
Brita: That was a good one, a good one.
- to Heidi N Closet: Heidi, you have got to be loving this social distancing, because you look best from at least six feet away.
- Nicky: Never looked better.
- Heidi: I agree with that one, I agree.
- to Heidi N Closet: Although we're locked down on quarantine, y'all, don't worry about running out of toilet paper. If you do need anything to just wipe up with, you can always grab Heidi's cape look.
Heidi: I'll catch yo ass when I see you next time.
Mini Challenge Winner: Gottmik
- to LaLa Ri: "LaLa Ri, bitch this look is sickening girl, is something nobody said to you in the ball challenge."
- to Kandy Muse : "Kandy, you have eaten tons of it."
- to Gottmik: "Gottmik, so you are so LA, even your farts have a vocal fry
- to Olivia Lux: "Olivia, your teeth are whiter than Utica and Gottmik trying to twerk to disco."
- to Utica Queen: "Utica, bitch you're fucking weird, RuPaul could walk up in here in cargo shorts and I would still vote you most confusing thing in the room."
- to Tina Burner: "Tina, if this whole drag thing doesn't work out for you, you and those shoulders have a gorgeous career in the NFL."
Tina Burner: "Thank you, tight end."
Gottmik "Not what I heard."
- to Kandy Muse: "Kandy Muse, it is so amazing how we represent such different communities here, gay, trans, pug."
- to Rosé: "Miss Rosé, your personality reminds me of a piece of Purdue chicken, white, bland, and unseasoned."
- to Denali: "Denali, meh forgettable."
- to Utica Queen: "Miss Utica, you are weird, you are creepy, and for those reasons my dear, I want you to suffocate me with your big dick."
- to Denali: "Denali! You do got a fat ass, bitch."
Denali: "Thank you."
Symone: "And that's great cause you're going to need something to land on when she sends you home."
- to Tina Burner: "TINTA BURNTER, How much Tina have you actually burned bitch? WE ALL WANNA KNOW!"
- to Symone: "Symone, you're so oily I could definitely see you in a dawn commercial."
- to Denali: "Dahlia, uh uh, Dina, uh ah bitch I can never remember your name."
Denali: "Oh Yucatan?"
- to Rosé: "Rosé, when I think of Rosé, I think of expensive beautiful champagne but when I look at you I think of, tap water."
- to Kandy Muse: "Kandy Ho, I meant Kandy Muse is a hoe. The only time you're not talking is when you're getting fucked, Joey told me that."
- to Rosé: "Scottish Rosé, you are like a wine, you're everything a basic white girl would want, every time I'm around you I get a headache, and every time I look at your face I just see sour grapes."
- to Utica Queen : "Utica, the new Dorian Corey of drag race, I mean where are those bodies hidden you fricking freak."
- to Kandy Muse: "Miss Kandy Muse, you're one of those girls that loves to be mad sis. Well I actually have something for, here's a cape now you can be super mad and fly the hell outta here girl."
- to Gottmik: "Gottmik, you are so known for your mug sis but I really think you mean mugshot because- your having a face like that is criminal."